obviously. the prev post bore some of you out.
or rather, ya, i understand, its a very Malay entry,
its not even possible for you guys to relate.

Before i proceed,
Will update pics from his burfdae celebration tmr..
as for today,
i wish to touch on certain things..

I'm sorry for the changes you've seen in me,
ever since you knew me, till this very day,
And yes, i am complicated, or rather, certain situations,
make me to act in a certain way,
and as a weak being, who is powerless when it comes to resolving some things,
i resort to keeping it inside, or letting it out on my blog,
which more often than not, slowly consumed me inside.
I don't know who or what to blame,
or rather, there's nth really to blame.
I'm always letting things get to me,
be it whether it affects me directly or indirectly.

Its kinda sad to see what i've become,
but im thankful for having great friends who accept me for who i am..
im really really thankful that you're able to embrace my flaws..
I'm not a person who likes to make promises,
cos i know sometimes, i may not keep it..
But, i hope i'll be able to be my own, cheerful, non-pretending self once again.
At times, i get really tired,
cos im always trying my best to be the better person,
or just try too hard to be someone tt i'm not..
then, i realised, i gtta stop doing that,
as im getting too carried away..

Instead of wasting my energy on things tt i have no power over,
i might as well focus, on what i can do.

I do not hate Mr ling. I do not,
but i realised i do have sth against him tts simply unexplainable.
Right now, i apologize, if i've behaved so obnoxiously twrds him,
and you guys just dont get why.
Beats me, but i will apologize to him one day.

And really, im trying my best here,
taking a step at a time, no longer placing much emphasis on worldly desires,
and if you could only,
if you could just, show me the way, and not keep bringing up your past,
which i'm glad you shared, but still hurts me
each time you say it as a passing remark, or as a joke..
Cos you're about the only person tt i used to,
and still do look up to till today,
please let it remain that way.

by now, i should wake myself up,
and for the last time, just snap out of it.
I've been living in delusion,
that one day, you'll look back, and I'll be here for you.
But i seem to forget, that as much as i try,
or keep that faith, ultimately,
at the end of it, the choices, were, and will never be mine to make.
its time, i get a hold of myself.

Are self-reflections necessary?
Some say not,
but i figure, for me, its sth i ought to do.
Till then, will update tmr again.
Take care loves.