PREPARE FOR THE LONGEST, ULTIMATE ENTRY YET.

so i had a whirling night beforehand.
not that i went clubbing or what,
just that a few decisions had to be made.
i pretty much spent the first half of the day,
wasting my time away.
lazying around. whilst thinking.
and oh ya, i've deleted away my wordpress account,
plus i edited one of my prev posts, so haf a look.

the second half of the day got crazier.
i sat at the comp, and revamped my whole resume.
scrolled thru (till this very moment)..
finding for jobs, just in case i'll lose my current job.
hahas. don't ask me why.
just some miscommunication and confusion along the way.
so, i flipped thru recuit paper as well.
and just looked and looked for whatever.
PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE.

then came the earth hour.
switched off my lights,
got dil and rut to do that as well.
binched on super unhealthy kfc snacks.
but i did skipping every like 10 mins after that.
HAHAHA.

here's some of the things i just feel like saying.

priorities will change as
we all move on with our lives,
sometimes we try with all our might,
hoping certain things,
would remain, but as time passes,
it'd gets harder, slowly.
but never mind that,
its all worth it in the end.

there are things tt are just so difficult to let others know.
I cant possibly say i understand what it is you've been through,
cos i haven't experienced it for myself,
and couldn't possibly have felt the same,
believe me, despite all of it,
just know that i'm here to give all the support
in the world.

i'm happy tt my friends have found happiness.
or about to..
truly am happy, that most of them are at a point of their lives,
whereby everything is slowly fallin into place..
im truly happy you guys.=D

not that im complaining..
i've been a little whiny, a little messy,
or all over the place.
i may not be in the most perfect place right now,
but with me, just being me,
you know i'll get by just fine. =D

i know its like im asking for a beating.
and i've stopped saying anything eversince,
cos the last time i did,
we ended up quarelling or go thru a cold war.
and so, we've been there back and forth.
practically the whole world knows (major exaggeration there)
but no one dares say a thing,
for fear of awkwardness, or simply, just avoiding the issue.

i've heard some say, they dont get you.
while some think that cos u have many friends,
so it doesnt matter if you dont have that special someone.
i beg to differ.

i only have one thing to ask.
do we share sth special, despite being just friends?
or are we like any other normal friends?
what are we, really?
i still look at you differently, but maybe you don't.
i still want to be the one who understands you,
when the rest of the world shut you off,
but may be you dont need me.
if you said you were available,
it applies to others, but not me, is that it?
okay im going to vanish from surface of the earth now.

alright.
im gnna skip and have coffee all night.
this and that, and that, and this.

Nights.